Today was hard for me to process. The normal happenstance of things is, bad things are louder then good things. Bad things carry weight, they can suffocate or incapacitate. While good things lift and lighten.
We’ve all heard the saying “It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it.” While this isn’t necessarily about reputation, I think I can extrapolate from it all the same. We tend to see more “bad” and shocking headlines and rarely feel we see “good” ones. As if there are more evil people doing bad things or bad fate in the world around us then good people and good things. “Bad” and negative is louder and has the benefit of shock, while “good” and positive has only awe.
“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.” – General Schwarzkopf
Today, really this last week, has been the uplifting escape we didn’t know we needed. You see, we had made the decision that this year we weren’t getting a Christmas tree or buying presents. Our income is going to essentials and the surgery. It was just a decision we made, we are not well off and even less so with my current health, but we are grateful just to have a warm house and loving people surrounding us. It’s hard, I won’t lie. I want my baby girl to have the most magical days every day and have the traditional Christmas, so not having those things is just 1 more thing to carry on the shoulders that you mark “being an adult.” You take it in stride with a smile on your face and enjoy what you have to the best of your ability.
Then my Father-in-law bought us a Christmas tree. We then had the toddler enjoy Christmas music blaring and the chaotic mess of decorating the tree in the spirit of Christmas. Even with the 1 or 2 hours of functioning, “real” feeling energy I have for the day, it energizes you with at least the fond memory and a smile. Then he took the Jeep that had been broken down since Spring, making the daily busyness much harder with 1 vehicle, and got it running.
Then a “Secret Santa” showed up at our door this morning with gifts. Through my very astute and intuitive detective skills, I’ve uncovered the “secret” part and it was a wonderful woman named Emily. When Emily asked to do this, we assumed maybe 1 or 2 gifts and we were very grateful at the news. She then went back to her car…6 times. Each trip returning with as many gifts as her arms could hold. All wrapped and under the tree. She blew us away. It is still hard to match words with what we are feeling.
Then, not even an hour goes by and I’m about to go get light bulbs for our dark house, 5 pickup trucks show up at our driveway and huge burly men with biker jackets and elf hats start jumping out with boxes and do-dads and thingamajigs. The women (also certainly not to be tested, and with biker jackets, but by no means burly) carrying bags, gift cards and greetings. The Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association, who already helped with a large donation, filled our house with gifts, food and even a super comfortable recliner to help in recovery after the surgery. I didn’t know what to say, speechless is a good word but it’s not very expressive.
When things happen, good or bad that go well outside of the normal parameters I tend to focus in and compartmentalize any feelings whatsoever. Don’t know when it started happening or why it happens, but it helps me focus with a clear level head. It is however, terrible for when this amount of goodness happens to us. Not a lot of emotion comes from me while I search for words to express what I should be feeling. I am glad I have a wonderful wife that can show emotion and use words at the same time. A skill I am developing and is patent pending.
It’s after, and the days to come when it trickles in to full excitement and happiness, it “hits me” but very delayed. So, I’m processing it now while also thanking those wonderful people for doing a great thing for my family. It takes deliberation and effort outside of the norm.
Tons of people lately have done amazing things for us, small to big and it all adds up. It’s things like this and small simple good, that is a spark in the much larger and more complex world in front of us. Not all good gets heard, but for every 10 acts of greatness there is 1 that’ll start this chain of discovery and pull us all towards the profound.
This really lifted my spirits, thank you as genuinely as I can.